the World According to Ward

So I think all 23 people at Local 506 had the time of their lives. I know I did. I’m having a good time playing this tour. I just feel more comfortable doing my own stuff now, not as stressed, and my voice is holding up better this time (Knock on Wood).
On the 8 hour trip to Birmingham, Steve bought some Vista Supreme Cheddar Cheese Crackers. He ate one, and immediately had an expression of abject horror on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“This is the worst cracker I’ve ever tasted. It tastes like Play-Doh!” replied Steve Fiore.
I had to try one. I mean, how can you screw up a cracker? Well, let me tell you, the knuckleheads at the Vista Supreme Cracker company figured out how. Way to go guys! It really does taste like Play-Doh, only I remember Play-Doh tasting better.
We arrived at the World Famous Nick in Birmingham. The Nick has been in existence since 1974, but somehow, Jump Little Children never played there. A guy named Ron argued with me about this, assuring him that we opened for Marcy Playground at the Nick. I’ve noticed that I’m so non confrontational that I’ll sometimes agree or try to agree with someone even if they are totally wrong. I’m not doing that anymore, so I assured him that Jump never played there, even as he was insisting that we did. Then he beat me up. And I died.
After I was rescusitated (check that spelling: if it’s right, send me a quarter), I played a great country space rock show for all 16 people 794,209,888 staples in the Nick. Ever been to the Nick? Lots of staples in the wall. Lots. The Nick seems to have music leaking out of the rafters. You can really feel the history there. People had told me that it was a dive, and it is, in a charming honky tonk kind of way. I have to say, the sound was way better than I expected (Thanks, Danny). The club, as a whole, reminded me a lot of the late Rockafella’s, in Columbia. Wendy, Boog and Danny and everyone were really nice. And one couple even danced! And said “WOO” really loud.
I’m gonna read Less Than Zero and sleep!
WOOOOOOOO!!!!

So I’m sitting at the bar at Local 506 listening to the lovely sounds of Steve Fiore. I know I promised I’d blog more, so here goes:
Augusta was fun. Blue Horse Music Hall is one of the best venues around, and if you’re anywhere near Augusta, you should go see whoever’s playing, cause even if Scott Stapp did a solo show there, it would probably sound good just cause of the system and how nice everyone is there.
Charleston went really well. The sonic ninjas, my backup band, consisting of Ash Hopkins, Evan Bivins, and Lee Barbour were in top form and people were rocking out.
Columbia was okay…pretty sedated crowdwise. Ash and I hadn’t rehearsed, so maybe we weren’t in top form, which may have contributed to the sedation.
Chapel Hill doesn’t have tons of folks here, but I have the feeling that the rock is going to be delivered. Giovanna’s dad bought me some beer. Thanks Bob! So as long as I don’t have to pee in the middle of my show, things should go well. And Ash and I have rehearsed, so we totally are tight now. Leave me a comment, cause as of now, I’m only getting spam comments, and I don’t give a damn about stupid ringtones or viagra or whatnot.

Anyone who’s cool has seen ZeFrank. (www.zefrank.com then click on “the show”) My friend Justin, at work introduced me to him. Seeing him do his hilarious hijinks daily (except for weekends) has given me lots of new ideas about how to get more exposure via the internet. Unfortunately, none of these ideas is really concrete…in fact, I wouldn’t even call them ideas…maybe they’re just the sperm of an idea looking for an egg, so they can make a baby idea that will grow into a big idea which will spawn a music career for yours truly in which I’m carving out my Ward Williams shaped niche in the music business. (I still really hate saying “music business”; almost as bad as I hate saying “industry” and “schmooze”).
When I started to write songs, I had no idea what I was going to do, businesswise. All I wanted to do is make a record. I did that. I’m proud of it. I hope my next record is even better, but I really like what I’ve done, and would love to find my audience, as it were. So rather than wait for my sperm to fertilize the egg of the idea and impregnate this ridiculous metaphor, I think I’ll just try to blog more. Maybe one day I’ll put on online concerts. Maybe I’ll do video journals. Maybe I’ll upload mp3s of works in progress to listen to. Who knows what I’ll do next? I definitely want to make my site more interesting, so I promise I’ll try to write more journal entries. Let me know what you’d like to see on my site. It’s a start, eh?
Love,
wardie

Yo kids. I’m laying at home, chillin’ after a nice 9 stop tour of the southeast. I had a lot of fun and really appreciate all of you who came out, clapped politely and bought the cd. Some highlights(in no particular order): Singing “Karate” by Tenacious D at both Chapel Hill and Birmingham, Midnight Waffle House visit at 12:01 AM 4/20/06 thanks to the gracious Sunny, stupid stage patter, Ash’s talented musicianship and constant ridicule, finding a preamp thanks to the guidance of Henry Sparrow, Rocking out with the Sonic Ninjas(Ash Hopkins: Bass, Lee Barbour: Electric Guitar, Evan Bivins: Drums) in Charleston, watching Inside Man in Columbia while my vehicle was getting fixed, and quite simply just being on the road again! Many many thanks to Taylor and Mary Ann for hocking my merch for most of the tour (special thanks to Amber and Robyn for selling it in Nashville {especially since they bought 2 of the 3 cds I sold that evening}). I’m planning another run to the cities we missed this time in June, and then I move to New York to become homeless. Should be fun. CD is available at cdbaby.com and the store section of the website is under construction and will be here soon. So keep in touch!

Do not be confused! This first journal entry is written by the designer of wardwilliams.net, due to the fact that Ward is currently on the road, and doesn’t really even know that he has a journal to write. However, for those of you that haven’t read them, I will post past blog entries from Ward’s myspace.com page, so that there will be some content here. I feel positive that once Ward knows that he has a real platform for expressing his inner thoughts and desires I’m sure that this journal will be full of interesting things to read. Please enjoy. Your beat is correct.

I just put up my new bio in which I interviewed myself. I’ve found that I have a really good rapport with myself. I almost finish my own sentences. I really understand where I’m coming from. I just wish I could have worked in more about Battlestar Galactica. I’m sad that the 2nd season is over and the third season won’t come out till october or some such nonsense. I think I’ll have Jim and Nick’s Barbecue for dinner tonight. Album is at Discmakers in production and they think they’ll be able to get it to me by april 6…plenty of time for the tour. Keep checking wardwilliams.net, cause you know I’ll be selling them there. Okay, nappy time!

So…I’m pretty much done with my album. Last saturday, I went staight from work at 11 to rebellion road studios, and ash and i stayed up all night mixing and mastering, then I went straight back to work on sunday at 4…my apologies to all my tables for my lackadaisacal attitude….although I think it served me well. everyone got their food on time and seemed to enjoy themselves. But I digress.
The point is that I’m launching my album in a pr fury, I’m gonna be huge!!!! You are pretty lucky to know me, cause I’m about to win 100 grammys. My debut album rocks, and you gonna love that shit!! it drops early april and I’m goin on tour to support it starting april 12 (see show dates). Hem makes pretty music. I’ll be their neighbor when i move to NYC.
Any how, Please get my record when it comes out and help me live the dream. I promise to support all of your endeavors in any way I can. seriously…unless you wanna kill people. I won’t support that….unless you want to kill evil people. Like osama bin douchebag.
I had a nice amount of drinks tonight….hope you did too….
love wardie

After the Tennessee debacle, I was dropped off in Greenville, SC, which is quickly becoming one of the coolest towns in the southeast. (Ash and Steve had gigs in Columbia and Charleston, respectively, so I handled the masses in G-town myself). The Coffee Underground was filled with 7 excited folks who were most attentive and kind. I must give a super shout out to Ray Guenthner, who really has a heart for music and loves bringing it to all the Greenvillians. (Not “Villians” like the joker is a villian, but “ville-i-ans” like charlestonians, or chicagoans, or martians). ((Although i’d love to be a green villian…the riddler was one, and he was annoying. I’d be much cooler and greener)). My partner and crime and I saw the reedy river falls park which is one of the 8 wonders of the world, as far as I’m concerned. Breathtaking. We also had a great meal as Sassafras, a southern bistro. YUMMY!! If anyone is hating on Greenville, they should shut up and pay a visit, cause it’s totally awesome.
On Saturday, we drove to Raleigh, and met up with my wandering tourmates as well as the super svelte Hugh Swazo, who looks more like a rockstar everytime I see him. Raleigh seemed a little like a ghost town, but The Raleigh Times is an awesome bar that has more belgian beer than you can shake a stick at. So they’re trying. I really appreciate all of the folks who came out to the Raleigh show. There were 30 or so folks there, but after the sparse crowd in Greenville and the non existant crowd in Chattanooga, it felt like Bonnaroo. Hugh was also a welcome addition to the bill. After the show, we ate at the Capitol room which has great apps, which were only $5 that night, and the nicest bar staff of almost any bar I’ve ever patronized. These girls also fell out of the front door trying to rip their clothes off, and offered us a quick peek for $5. I guess it was all about the Lincolns on Saturday. We graciously declined and munched on our pork potstickers, lettuce wraps, wings and hummus. Then we drove to Bahama, where our pal Giovanna was putting us up for the night. Ash, Steve and I toasted a fun tour with a glass of Woodford Reserve. It was lovely to end the tour on an up note.
Today, my roommate found us a place to live in Williamsburg! So I head up this weekend for the colder more expensive pastures of Brooklyn, NY. I’ve sort of developed a taste for blogging, so keep checking back and you can witness my descent into pennilessness yourself right here at wardwilliams.net/journal…at least until I have to hock my mac for ramen noodles. Much love and respeck…ww

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…in the forest, and no one’s around to hear it, does it make any sound? If Wardie plays an awesome gig in Chattanooga, and no one’s around to hear it, does he still rock the fucking house. Hold on, let me consult my oracle…..YES! MY ORACLE SAYS “DECIDEDLY SO” SO WARDIE DOES ROCK THE HOUSE, EVEN IF NO ONE SHOWS UP!! (oracle is a leaky magic 8-ball with a KISS army sticker on the back) That’s right kids, so if you were in Chattanooga and decided to watch the season premiere of “Gray’s Anatomy” instead of coming to Rhythm and Brews, you missed a rocking show. Even if you weren’t in Chattanooga, you still missed a rocking show. In fact, everyone missed a rocking show….almost literally. The only people who didn’t miss a rocking show were Justin K. and his pals, Steve, Ash, 3 friends of the club owner, Amber (who drove from Nashville; rock on Amber-you are the superfan), our soundguy, and the bartender….oh yeah, and me. Justin K. let us stay with him at his dorm in McCallie boarding school where we quietly cried ourselves to sleep. Be sure to check out Justin, who opened for me and Steve and was %40 percent of our crowd at: http://www.justinkarpinosmusic.com/ and www.myspace.com/justinkarpinos. He even left us breakfast fixins!! Justin, Ash ate all the bananas, and will probably get potassium poisoning. Everyone was awesome last night, sounded great, it was a perfect show…and no one saw it. We were better than Radiohead having sex with the Beatles while Led Zeppelin watched. What, you think we’re lying? Well you’ll never know, cause you weren’t there!! Damn, we rock!

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So last nights metal monday was a great way to kick off the 2005 series at Cumberlands. Our Illustrious Jonny was rehearsing for Jay Leno in LA, (watch for him and Jay performing with Howie Day tonight, January 4th) so we borrowed Chris McLernon (formerly of Saigon Kick) and he rocked it like the pro that he is. I think my favorites of the evening were Gretchen doing Magic Man and Evan singing Dr. Feelgood with Benji (lunch) on drums. To all the whiners who didn’t get to sing: 1. there were lots of folks on the list. I did the best I could. Sorry. 2. FUCKING GET OVER IT!!! I’M THE EMPEROR!!! The person (people) you should really be angry at is the Charleston City Government cause they’re the ones who made the bars have to have everyone out at 2AM. Otherwise, we’d play till we got to everyone on the list. If you really really really are dying to sing, get there early and sign up on the first set. I’m usually able to get to everyone. Also, sign up for a song that no one has sang yet. That helps. Keep your eyes out for the Hairaoke homepage that Evan’s working on. We’ll be doing Sunday nights at Wild Wings in North Chuck, too starting January 9th. Should be a hoot.
By the way, I finally got some batteries for my remote control. But I haven’t really had any time to watch TV.